Happy holidays! On this festive episode, Virginia takes us all the way back to medieval times, where folks celebrated their winter celebrations with turkey legs and torturing peasants on spiked wheels.
First, we talk Good King Wenceslas, the dude behind the beloved Christmas carol, its surprisingly bloody end, and forays onto Ancestry.com. Next, we discuss Les Bal des Ardents, a hell of a holiday party involving fire, being on fire, and the subsequent apology tour. Featuring Ren’s mom, DJ, and the plot of Office Space.
Self Care Plan
In keeping with theme, it’s time for some holiday tips for specifically 2020.
- If you don’t have to travel, f***ing don’t. Public restrooms are a high-risk environment, and people don’t goddamn realize this when they are driving across several states and go, “Oh, well, I’m not licking the gas station attendant, so I’m fine.”
- If you do decide you need to go to a family gathering, pick your least dumb family. You know, the ones that you know have been wearing goddamn masks. Go visit them instead of your cousins in Florida licking gas station attendants.
- Before you go and visit, get yourself tested for Covid-19. This way you can make sure you’re good. And, not only that, ask your family to also get tested to make sure they’re good. This way, no one has to worry about getting coronavirus and dying over fruitcake. Instead, stab your relatives over fruitcake, like the holiday tradition started by Good King Wenceslas.